It's Not About the Tumor
...My Journey to Wellness

by Jean Brazeau

An ordinary life, everything running smoothly according to the standards "out there", managing life's daily challenges, hoping the "unspoken" ones would go away if ignored long enough.

Saturday Night, March 11, 2000, the night my eldest sister died my world starting crumbling around me . I knew I had to find the inner strength to continue, and I did for I was a survivor of extreme violence and abuse of every kind as a child.

With only a few fleeting memories of a childhood which left me filled with fear, rage, self hatred, an insurmountable wall of self limiting beliefs, and a daily dose of Wellbutrin, I survived !

Traumatized by my sister's death I continued on, darkness looming inside. 11 months later the son of my lifelong friend was killed in a snowmobile accident. It never ends.

Soon after, a routine mammogram revealed I had breast cancer. As treatment progressed, the side effects of Chemotherapy Induced Menopause took me to a new low. Bloated, bald, depressed, literally weary to the bone and another anti-depressant was added to my repertoire.

A week into radiation treatment, my husband is laid off from his job, followed 14 days later by my brother-in-law's suicide.

Life stabilized for a short time, the death of my mother's husband bringing with it another wave of trepidation; my aging mother, her health failing is living on her own on the other side of the country.

A series of routine tests ordered by my oncologist uncovered "something" in my brain and spinal cord. My future became very clear to me -- a cycle of serious illnesses, more drugs to offset side affects, drug addiction and death. For me it was that simple.

Chance led me to a local organization offering a two day program on the application of the principles of quantum biology to human behaviour. A perspective so enlightening my mind was quiet for the first time in my life; gone were the conversations I had with myself about what's right, wrong, good, bad, always judging, feeling judged, obsessively trying to figure things out. I knew without a moments hesitation that it was no coincidence that I had had breast cancer, elevated blood pressure, a body wracked with pain, allergies so bad I would vomit without a moment's notice, on anti-depressants, diagnosed with Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder(PTSD) and /or Disassociative Disorder, a marriage in turmoil, unable to work and a very recent diagnosis of a Brain and Spinal Cord meningioma.

This new perspective provided me with the strength and courage I needed to venture inwards; embrace the truth of my own life experience.

Enrollment in a subsequent 7 day program expanded my knowledge and ability, deepening my confidence in my capacity to change my life. I began to discover and - perhaps more importantly - trust the ever-unfolding innate resourcefulness that lives inside which for so long had been left untapped. I had discovered the gateway to a new way of living my life.

Two days following the program experience I realized I had inadvertently neglected to take my anti-depressants. Unwilling any longer to put anything in my body which interfered with the flow of my energy I overcame the physical withdrawal symptoms.

Three weeks later my mother passed away. I experienced all of the feelings associated with the loss of one's mother, but somehow I was at peace with her death.

5 short days later at a long awaited appointment with the Neurosurgeon I learned the brain tumour would be monitored. As he spoke of the spinal cord tumour, fear engulfed my body, his words "Paraplegic", "irreversible damage", "prioritized spinal cord surgery" left me in shock. The next few weeks were filled with more tests, surgery scheduled for after Christmas and my inner voice screaming at me.

Aware of another perspective now, I was faced with a choice literally capable of paralyzing me. I made my choice and cancelled my surgery. That was 6 months ago. On occasion, I am mindful of the dis-ease in my spinal cord, unaware if it is still there or not. Symptom free, I consider it very differently now -- simply information/energy awaiting my attention. Here is what I do know . My blood pressure is normal, I am drug free, no longer suffer from Depression, PTSD or Dissassociative Disorder. I am pain free most of the time now and my allergies have disappeared .

Awake now, comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my life, I am more appreciative of what life has to offer, I laugh more , forget less, have less accidents, worry less, no longer a need to lay awake at night, dreading every uncomfortable situation. As my eyes opened, my contribution to the state of my marriage surfaced and it too is strengthening . I make choices now, a far cry from my obligatory life in the not too distant past, unaware that choice was mine for the taking.

My journey now is one of self discovery, my fear of the unknown no longer half as frightening as that which I knew and lived. The fear of the ride of embracing my past, much worse than the ride itself; nobody died, nobody got sick, there was no violence or abuse. The toughest parts of this journey for me -- remembering to Breath.

This article was sent to us by Jean Brazeau. Her life altering successes have led her to furthering her knowledge and education in the field of Quantum sciences . Having completed 3 levels of certification, she is now a WEL-Systems® Master Facilitator. She shares her very personal story in the hope that it may provide others with the inspiration and courage to venture inside, reclaim their lives, unleash the innate potential which lives in all of us!

This article was originally published in Edition 19 - September 2004 issue of Body Mind Spirit e-zine, www.saskworld.com/bodymindspirit. It may be reproduced, provided it is reproduced in full with appropriate acknowledgement of the author, the source, and a weblink to www.WEL-Systems.com