A participant in Finding Your Voice - a WEL-Systems based experience designed and facilitated by Cathy Carmody, a WEL-Systems CODE Model Coach in Halifax, Nova Scotia - Michelle Hicks of Amherst, NS shares the power of her discoveries as they transform her life.

In her own words to Louise, Michelle offers: "If just one woman can be empowered by my words and know that she can create her own outcomes, as I learned I could, then it will have served its purpose.  Thank you once again for your words of inspiration and for the work you have created and continue to do. (The WEL-Systems) body of knowledge has changed my life and I will forever be grateful for the world it has opened for me. " 

 

The Power of Conscious Choice

by Michelle Hicks

In September of 2007, I began the journey that would begin to change my life in more ways than I can convey. I want to share with you one way the Finding Your Voice program, a WEL-Systems® experience, contributed to moving my life forward.

Without getting into the details, in 2006 I became what I perceived to be a victim of harassment, and, in taking steps to address this, I set in motion events that would change my life. After struggling with this situation for close to two years, and feeling the impact it had had on my professional and personal life, in March 2008, I was asked whether I might consider participating in mediation, as an attempt to settle some of the issues surrounding the harassment situation. I agreed, feeling that I had gained strength and knowledge through the Finding Your Voice program, which I had been participating in since September, 2007.

I went to the first day of the mediation, thinking I was prepared. I made my list and checked it twice, but by the end of the day, when all seemed to be going good...the bomb dropped! And, I could not control the energy. I realized that all day I had been reacting to what the other person was saying, and not paying attention to my body, and it let me know in a big way. I asked to end the day and did agree to return the next morning, even if I decided I was not willing to stay for the day.

All the way home.... the energy moved! Wow! Did it move...the tears flowed like a waterfall, my chest pained, so much so that I felt like I was having a heart attack. I told myself I would not put myself through that for another day. When I got home I went right upstairs, put on my CD and got into my body. I needed so much to hear my body, because I was so confused. I thought I was ready, I felt ready... I had made my list! So where was I going wrong? And, when I listened, I heard! My heart was not in it....what I thought I wanted, was not what I needed. I had gone through the motions that day, but I was in my head (not my body), with my list of what I thought I should have, when what I really needed was to be heard, truly heard. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks, and I sat up and looked at my list again.... and started crossing off the list. What it came down to was that I wanted to have my voice heard! It didn't matter whether I was acknowledged, or if there was admittance to what had happened to me; this would not serve me. What I needed was to truly voice all that I had felt, including the pain and the hurt, and all that had happened to me.

I decided right then and there that when I went back the next day, I would not be concerned with what was offered, or what was said by the other party (after all, that was all about them!). I would focus on what I needed to say and I would respond, not react! I would ask for the time I needed to allow the energy to move and I would speak my truth with my voice! I would be conscious about my "choices" and remember that everything is about CHOICE! I would "choose" to respond to what was being said, rather than react. I would "choose" to pay attention to how my body was reacting, and know that it was all about me. This was more difficult to put into practice than it seemed, but I decided I would make sure I gave myself the time to do this. When the energy began to move, I asked for time, asking the others to leave the room, and let the energy move, concentrating on my body. I took what time I needed to get myself to a place that I could continue, not worrying about others, asking for what I needed!

How different the second and third days were. I listened, I paid attention to my body, I kept my attention focused on the base of my spine, and the clarity came. And, at the end of it, when what was being offered was not what I had asked for, I was fully prepared to walk away, because what I had truly needed from this process, I had gained! My voice heard, my truth spoken, and the rest did not matter. But, what was truly surprising, when the others knew, really knew, that I was prepared to walk away and continue the process under other means, the tables turned. To my surprise, I was offered what I was looking for from the beginning! But, suddenly it didn't seem that important. I had gained such insight about myself and the other person through the process. I had found a way to look at things so differently, and it allowed me to gain closure, and truly get myself to a place where I could completely put this in my past and move forward. This was what the process was really about for me, and the rest was just "gravy", as they say.

Without even being aware of it at the time, I had gained insight into my needs, my wants and an awareness about the power of conscious choice, which would successfully guide me through what might have been one of the most difficult experiences of my life. There is no doubt in my mind that I would not have been able to manage through this process without the knowledge gained through the Finding Your Voice Program, and for that I am, and will be, forever grateful.

Michelle Hicks
Amherst, Nova Scotia
June, 2008