On 'Being' Coach

by Gwen McCauley

As someone who earns part of her livelihood from a professional coaching practice, it took me a while to discover the profound difference between "doing" coaching and "being coach". And whether I am involved in coaching coaches or conversing with coaching colleagues who practice the art of coaching with different methodologies than I use, I am continually struck by how many of us continue to engage this 'artform' as a series of activities to be undertaken with breadth of knowledge, mastery of skills and techniques, and advice based in acquired wisdom.

Without a doubt, each of these is an important element of achieving success in the coaching process. And yet, for so many coaches, they are simply not enough. Both coach and client frequently experience the need for more, and yet they know intuitively that applying new tools, increasing the frequency of coaching sessions, defining larger and larger goals are inadequate to provide what is missing.

If you have discovered that doing coaching is great, but are seeking something more, you might want to begin to explore the 'being coach' conversation.

Doing Coaching involves helping another person engage more powerfully based on tools, techniques, models, advice, feedback, suggestions and modeled behaviors. The focus is on the client's needs and growth requirements. Being Coach, paradoxically, is all about me.

I have discovered that my capacity for coaching effectiveness with my clients is directly related to the degree of clarity I carry about myself, my values and my intentions. I cannot give to another person what I do not have for myself. And so I share some thoughts with you about what I have found it takes to live in a perpetual state of 'being coach'.

"Being" Coach - Its All in the Attitude

For me, "being coach" requires that I remain awake to what is moving through me; mindful to the sense I am making of the world unfolding around me; alert to the possibilities inherent in every moment; aware that who I am in this moment is not who I will have become in the next. The following are a series of questions that I ask myself frequently as I move through each day, knowing that it is my willingness to be present to my journey that is more important than focusing on my destination.

1. Intrapersonal clarity:

Who am I?
What drives me?
Who am I capable of becoming as a result of working with this client?
What topics/emotional states hook me and cause me to back off, look away or over-engage?
Where do I go for coaching?

2. Clarity of intention:

What am I seeking to create in my life?
What am I seeking to create with this client?
How will I know that I am successful?
What does failure mean to me?

3. Clarity of process:

Am I at ease with not knowing, being confused, not being clear on next steps in front of a client?
How curious am I about what I'm seeing and hearing from a client?
How well do I notice my client's language, gestures, metaphors and physiology to obtain cues for engaging curiosity?
To what extent do I 'mind read' what's happening for my client?
What do I do when I'm with a client to maintain safety for myself?
What is it about myself that I see reflected in this client?

4. Clarity of accountability:

If the client does not achieve the results they desired, is it my fault?
What are my criteria for accepting a client?
When do I know its time to terminate a client relationship?
Am I up to this client relationship and this specific client meeting?

All of the "doing coaching" elements which are very much part of my coaches toolbox only come into play to the extent that they are in support of my "being coach". In other words, my capacity to 'do coaching' is directly proportional to my capacity to 'be coach'!

Gwen McCauley is a founding partner of the WEL-Systems® Institute, and is its Executive Director. She regularly delivers workshops and seminars on coaching, certifying to the CODE Model Coach™ level. In her coaching practice she works both with other coaches and with individuals on diverse topics such as career transition, change management, leadership and personal development. Gwen holds a BA in Sociology/Anthropology and an MA in Human Systems Intervention. She has trained in Myers-Briggs, Open Space Technology, Appreciative Inquiry, Total Quality Management and Generative Leadership. Gwen is a WEL-Systems Educator, a Quantum TLC™ Facilitator and an NLP Master Practitioner.

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